exam fever (18/12/16)

After so long, my mood to blog something here is coming HAHA. Actually I have a lot of things to tell here but typical me always doing something following the mood. My aim to create a blog is for me to reminiscing the past when I got older bahahaha. Nothing more than that.

Since I can't sleep tonight, let's have a cup of coffee and may stay up a bit late for today since exam is coming, 58 days more to go, and I feel like fainting huarggh. I want to share my journey as a final year medical student. Like I said in my previous post (I can't remember which post actually), medicine is like a marathon, you'll feel slightly demotivated and less passion at the end of the running because you already tired and you just want to give up.

So do I. A month ago was a critical month for me. I feel demotivated, ungrateful, less spirit and lazy. I asked myself, 'can I give up?' Seriously I was soooo blur in everything. I felt less confident with myself, I don't know how to start, I dilemma between study group or just study alone and I forgot everything. I can't remember basic sciences and all that. As a conclusion at that moment, I felt sad with my life.

So what do I do??

I stopped doing everything. I stopped open up my books to study. I lied down on my bed and just cry until no more tears love to run happily on my cheeks. ('they also hate me btw' haha..Apa lah dia ni lembik). Suddenly I realised, I chose this field. Nobody forced me. I stubbornly told my parents that I want to do medic at the first place. So, I shouldn't give up. Not only you had the same feeling. Everyone has their own struggle.

Better make mistake now rather than you make patient die in the future using your own hands! For me, being a doctor is not only has to be smart but also resilience, passion, caring and sacrifice. It's not easy. Totally not easy. But nothing impossible.

*finish drinking coffee and get back to work*
*I hope my aim can be achieved before the dateline*
*still learning to be systematic and discipline*
*pray for me*

jannahamidon

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