End of sem 8..

Alhamdulillah for all that happen to me during this sem. Whether it was good or bad I'll accept it anyways. Have faith in Allah. It was easy to say it but hard to practice it and we have to try harder. I got many lessons that I learnt throughout this sem. For me, I miss my old version of 'me'. I need to find it back and improve a little bit.

For all that I had been through all this time, I learnt that we couldn't trust everyone. Second chance???That's crap. We only can give it to the one who deserve it. Don't give it to someone who confuse with their life and try to use you in order for them being 'normal'. These bunch of people are not deserve your second chance because they themselves couldn't handle their own problems. DON'T GIVE HOPE TO SOMEONE IF YOU ARE NOT ABLE TO BE WITH THAT SOMEONE. Don't even think to test that 'someone' if your intention was only to test your 'market'. You're not gonna happy for sure, trust me.

Second, don't get too attached and lesser your expectation. It's normal when you did something towards someone, you'll keep a little hope for that 'someone' to do the same things as you did. I don't know whether this is good or not. In islamic perspective, we have to be sincere in whatever we do in our life. So, what I do just forget about it and focus on myself. I need to be happy. I need to throw away all the 'rasa bersalah' feeling. You're not going to die if you live alone. I want to find my happiness back.

Third is my last examination. I really learnt a lot actually. The examination is just an exam which testing you to be tough. I need to learn something with all my heart instead of just for exam purpose. Because for me as a medical student, examination is just a little things that everyone going through but the difference is whether you can save someone life or not? Are you a good and save doctor? Can you handle all the stress? Are you able to spare some times to be or hang out with you family, friends, important person in your life? So let's be sincere in everything we do.

I hope next sem will be better than this sem. I hope this upcoming ramadhan will be better than before. I wanna finish this 3 week elective as soon as possible and then I want to focus myself and preparing for my final year. I hope I can spend this holiday with someone who can make my life happy which is my family of course.

With all these bad things happen to me, I realise something. I'm not doing enough effort to be a good muslimah. That's true what people said when you forget Allah, Allah will forget you. I need to reflect on myself back. I need to pray early, reading quran including its meaning, qiamulail and all that the 'old' jannah did. Pray for me guys. May all of us grant with jannah.

xoxo

jannahamidon

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