Counting

Rain Rain Rain. 

The weather was gloomy this month. Same goes to my heart. I was lacking in everything. My self confidence, motivation, spiritual and love ( except love from Allah and family). Counting down how many days till pro exam part 1 made me restless but the thought of giving up from exam also came into my mind simultaneously. 

Before this I'm strong enough to fight everything including heartbroken things but not for this year. My final year as a medical student. I was so fragile lately. Even slight stress can made my mood straight forward became under the weather. I felt demotivated and not study so hard. I tend to scroll everything in the Instagram, Tweeter and Facebook instead of studying. I tend to watch movies instead of counting how many days till pro exam or counting how many important topics that I already covered or counting how many questions that I already done throughout this final year. 

Thinking about it made me realise something. I think if we want to succeed in everything we do, we must have good relationship with Allah and people. I realised that my relationship with Allah is not good lately. I'm not reading quran everyday. I'm not praying on time. I'm not doing all the sunnah things which I practiced during my school life.

I really miss my school life and all my friends there. I want to be 'old' me. I missed the moment when your friends are better than you and always remind you  and show a good example to you. In my opinion, dakwah must be in soft way. Try to give time to that person until they ready to accept it. No need rushing in everything we do. Give us some time. 

For me, I always sit and think about my problem and tried to solve it myself. Trust me, only you can understand yourself better. I had OLC test tomorrow. Wish me luck and I hope everything goes well.

xoxo

Jannahamidon 

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