heart is hardcore

0535 am 17/11/16

Stress like crazy over something. OLC is part of it. And maybe hormonal imbalance might be the cause of it. Reminiscing the past has pro and cons. At least I knew that we're not meant to be together. Easy to say 'past is past' to myself. Easy to control the body and brain but hard to instruct the heart to act the same way.

People said it is a matter of time. It's not a matter of time for me. Once you feel that sad feeling, you'll live with it forever. Why? Because you still have hope. That hope and expectation kill you. I don't know the exact way to get rid of it. Just pray for Allah guidance.

What I'm thinking right now, Allah loves you no matter what happen. I still have beautiful family who love me and always supporting me. I have best friend who are alway there for me. I will get degree in medical in less than one year. Title DR will be in front of my name after I graduate.

I will become a doctor and can give all my best to help people. In return, i'll get pahala from Allah and prayer from other people. How could I ask for more? It's bad to feel less grateful like this. Allah only not approve my prayer related to marriage or relationship. But He already gave me all the nikmat that other people might not have it.

Keep reminding myself again and again. Allah knows the best. Never forget to have a faith and believe in Allah.

Xoxo
Jannahamidon

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